


Sensation

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, First Time, Friendship, Marauders' Era, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2004-06-22
Packaged: 2018-05-18 14:29:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5931757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus learns to use a special ability</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sense of Smell

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

Remus Lupin awoke with a headache. The fact that Sirius Black and James Potter were jumping up and down on his bed did not help matters. "Could you please stop that?" His voice had come out much more coldly than he intended. They looked at him strangely. "I have a headache," he explained.

The little hurt look in Sirius' eyes went away. "I could try that healing charm we learned last week."

"No," Remus said hastily. "Thanks anyway." James snickered. Remus climbed out of bed, picked up his clothes, and went to the bathroom, locking himself in. He looked at himself in the mirror. Another strand of gray, he noted. Perhaps there was a potion he could use before Sirius saw it and commented again on how strange it was for a fourteen-year-old boy to be going gray. He dressed quickly. His headache was worse.

They clattered down to breakfast. For once Remus wasn't ravenous; he picked at his eggs. The food smelled off.

"Perhaps you should see Madam Pomfrey," James suggested.

He liked his roommates, but they were far too observant. And he spent more than enough time with Pomfrey. "No, I'm sure I'll feel better soon."

Remus had difficulty concentrating in Arithmancy, usually one of his favorite subjects. His head was throbbing. He forced himself to pay attention instead of wandering off into thoughts of how warm the classroom was, how monotonous the teacher's voice was, how good Sirius smelled-where was that coming from? He glanced sideways at Sirius, who had his chin propped on his hand. The blue eyes were closed; Sirius was sleeping. Remus elbowed him awake just as the teacher looked in their direction. A strange feeling shot through him, like /relief/gratitude/. He frowned and shook his head.

He thought he would feel better in Herbology; he always liked the greenhouses. But the smell of the blooming flowers was overpowering, and his stomach protested. His headache worsened.

At lunch he broke away from his friends. "I'm going to lie down for a bit."

"I'll come with you," Sirius offered. He touched Remus' shoulder lightly. "Or I could bring you something to eat."

"No, that's-" Another odd little flash of feeling: /hope/worry/. Remus rubbed his forehead. "Don't bother." He found one of the handy empty rooms and sat there during the lunch hour, mercifully alone. His scar itched occasionally.

They had Care of Magical Creatures after lunch. His Knarl was sleeping, so he helped Sirius feed and calm his. That was what he was supposed to be doing, at any rate; Sirius took one look at him and said, "If you're not going to see Pomfrey, just sit over there and rest." `There' was a semi-secluded corner. Remus sank down gratefully and rested his aching head in his hands.

He wanted to watch James and Sirius at Quidditch practice, but Peter dragged him to their room and made him lie down until dinner.

"Dinner! Come on, Remus, you haven't eaten all day!" Sirius grabbed his arm and pulled him down the stairs. /Happiness/ zipped briefly through Remus. He yanked his arm out of Sirius' grasp, determinedly ignoring the hurt in the blue eyes.

"All right, I'm coming."

The plate of food appeared in front of him. Remus picked up his knife and fork, knowing he should be hungry but feeling absolutely uninterested in the lamb chops confronting him. He took in a deep breath, and was overwhelmed by emotions: /happiness/worry/hunger/curiosity/concern/desire/nervousness /. His stomach churned. He clapped his hand over his mouth and stumbled to his feet.

"Remus?" Sirius stood up too, and touched his arm.

/concern/affection/worry/

"Don't-touch me," Remus gasped out.

/shock/hurt/pain/

Sirius let go suddenly, and the feelings lessened slightly. Remus walked as quickly as he could out of the Great Hall. He was bombarded by /curiosity/surprise/interest/ as he passed by the rest of the Gryffindors, then a whole array of other feelings attacked him. /panic/concern/disgust/desire/hate/loathing/nervousness/lust/pit y/dislike/love/ He raced through the doors and fell to his knees, retching dryly.

"Remus." It was Dumbledore. Just the person he wanted to see him like this. He dragged the back of his hand across his mouth and looked up. "Remus, please come with me." /pity/

He followed Dumbledore almost blindly to the headmaster's office. He stood, swaying, until Dumbledore told him to sit. For once the headmaster wasn't holding his arm or patting his shoulder.

"You're not feeling well."

Remus nodded. That should have been fairly obvious, he thought.

"How is your sense of smell?"

Remus blinked. What an odd question. He sniffed tentatively, but instead of the usual sweet candy/old man smell of Dumbledore's office, he was blasted by /pity/. He gasped. "That's-" He didn't know how to describe it.

A sudden note of /fascination/curiosity/ hit him as Dumbledore spoke. "I believe that you are sensing the emotions of those around you. Your sense of smell is the mechanism for transmitting these emotions to your brain."

"Oh." He tried breathing through his mouth, but that didn't help. He looked at Dumbledore. "Is this a-because I'm a werewolf?"

Dumbledore nodded. "It must be associated with adolescence. The materials I read did not describe a moment in which the ability made itself apparent; werewolves who are turned as adults evidently always have this skill."

Remus wouldn't have called it a skill, exactly. He wondered what else Dumbledore knew about werewolves that he was waiting to spring on Remus. He thought for a moment. "It seems ... stronger when someone touches me."

"Hm." /fascination/ "Perhaps that is due to the pheromones on the person's skin." Dumbledore stroked his beard thoughtfully.

Remus would have to look up `pheromones' later. "I need to control it." He couldn't hide in Dumbledore's office, suffocating in /pity/curiosity/, in order to avoid the confused emotions of his fellow students.

"Yes." Dumbledore pulled out a thick folio. "I believe that this technique might help."

They worked together for several hours, until Remus could shut off his bizarre new sense. He walked back to the Gryffindor tower, concentrating very hard on not-smelling.

"Remus!" Sirius jumped up off the couch. "What's going on?" James and Peter were staring at him too. Sirius stretched out his hand, then jerked it back suddenly.

"Nothing." No, Sirius wasn't going to settle for that. "I felt ill." Better, but he needed to distract them. "I'm much better now. You know, I'm hungry." He looked meaningfully at Peter. "Kitchen raid?"

James and Peter whooped in pleasure and ran to the portrait. Sirius lagged behind, looking at Remus carefully. Remus touched his arm briefly. "Sorry about earlier."

The blue eyes warmed. "S'okay. Hey, maybe they have some of that cake left. Your favorite." Sirius wrapped his arm around Remus' shoulders, then released him. "Let's get there before Peter eats it all!"


	2. Another discovery

A month later Remus was lying under his favorite tree, writing in his notebook. He'd had to speak with Dumbledore again about controlling his new sense of smell/emotion after he'd been overpowered by a wave of lust coming off a seventh-year Ravenclaw. The lust had knocked his control loose. It was as if a layer had been peeled off him, and his abraded skin flinched at the brush of each emotion. When he stepped into Dumbledore's office, he was struck by a wave of pity so strong he staggered. He looked at his notebook and read what he had written.

_more pity god I hate it so much. Hate hate hate. Hate having to feel grateful for being here when everyone else just takes it for granted. I deserve to be here just as much as anyone else. More than most of them, who couldn't Tranfigure a spoon into a spindle to save their lives. Mum says D. felt sorry for me. Now I know that and I hate hate hate it. Hate hate hate hate hate HATE!!_

"Remus?" Sirius' voice, just beginning to change. It cracked at unexpected moments and embarrassed his friend no end.

Remus sat up and shut his notebook hastily. "Hi, Sirius." He waited.

Sirius, clearly nervous, sat down next to him. "I was doing the homework on magical creatures and I found a book."

Remus' stomach clenched. 

"Oh? Don't tell me you actually read it." 

"I did, actually." 

Sirius sounded apologetic. Remus froze. He knew what was coming. Irrationally, he wanted to rip up his notebook. He should have shut up and been grateful, accepted the pity. 

"You're a werewolf, aren't you," Sirius whispered. He bit the inside of his cheek. 

"Yes." He forced himself to add, "I'm sorry." He stood up quickly. 

"I'm sorry too, Remus." Sirius actually did sound sorry. Remus wanted to hate him. 

"Where are you going?" 

"To pack." Fucking idiot. Where do you think I'm going? Remus walked away, just barely keeping himself from running. 

"Hey! Come back!" Sirius was panting behind him. Those long legs carried him to Remus far too quickly. 

"What-why?" "I'll be expelled now," Remus said. As if you didn't know that. Sirius took hold of his arm. 

"Sirius, let GO." He yanked his arm away. At least he hadn't been blasted with emotion this time. 

"Expelled!" Sirius looked surprised. 

"But-all I did was read a book and figure it out!" He grabbed Remus' arm again. 

"I just wanted to let you know that I knew! And-and I want to help. If I can." 

Remus looked at him. 

"You. Want to help. Me." He knew that Sirius had no idea what he was saying. 

"Yes! You're my best friend, Remus." 

Remus blinked in surprise. He didn't hear the rest of what Sirius was saying. Now that he thought about it, James had been preoccupied recently with Lily and Peter; but even before that, Sirius had been directing most of his considerable energy at Remus. And if the other boy thought-then perhaps he liked Remus as much as-he smiled. 

"You're my best friend too, Sirius." A huge grin spread across the other boy's face, and he exhaled audibly. 

"I am? I mean, of course I am. Anyway, let's think about how we can-" They went back to Remus' tree and sat down, Sirius talking a mile a minute. Remus leaned against the trunk and let the uneven voice wash over him. He sniffed the air-sniffed Sirius. A crisp fresh smell of fallen leaves, and happiness. Remus allowed himself to relax.


	3. Refusal

Remus took off his clothes, folded them neatly, and placed them on a high shelf with his wand. Since he had first shown his friends the scar several years ago, he no longer minded being naked in front of them. He sat on the bed and waited for them.

He waited. They didn't appear. He told himself that they had been delayed while sneaking out of the castle. He told himself this until he felt the first pangs running through his body, the stabs of pain shooting along his limbs. He snarled and his claws shot out. He fell off the bed when his spine lengthened with a cracking noise. His skin crawled as the fur grew thickly over him. He snapped his aching jaws shut and leapt across the room, hurling himself at the boarded-up windows. He wanted to get out, into the cool moonlight. His paws scrabbled at the walls.

He smelled flesh suddenly, and began slavering. He turned and raced in the direction of the irresistible smell. A blur in the corner of his yellowed vision, and the intoxicating scent dissipated in the night air. He howled in frustration. His teeth tore at his own leg as denied hunger and longing overpowered him.

Remus woke slowly. He knew by the too-clean smell that he was in the infirmary. He hadn't been here in a year. Something had gone very wrong. He tried to speak, only managed a growl.

"Remus." That was Pomfrey. He pried his eyes open; they hurt. Everything hurt.

"Remus, I had to mend your arm. And there were some bad ... marks on your chest and stomach. You're going to be sore for a while." A cool hand hovered over his forehead, didn't touch him. "Rest here for a bit. This was a bad one."

He knew that. Why did people insist on telling him things he already knew? He growled, and she stepped back quickly, walked away. He couldn't make himself go back to sleep. He sat up carefully and inspected himself. He could tell he'd bitten his leg-his arm-down to the bone. At least Pomfrey had left him a painkilling potion. It even soothed his aching throat as he swallowed.

Remus waited until he could make his voice work. "Madam Pomfrey? I feel better now, and I'm going back to my room." He tottered to the door.

"Oh, Remus, wait."

He turned and faced her.

"Professor Dumbledore asked me to let him know when you woke up. He'd like to see you in his office before you go back to your room. The password is `ice mice'." She tried to smile.

He nodded and left. It seemed like an exceptionally long walk this time. He concentrated on making his feet move steadily forward. Not thinking about why he'd woken up in the infirmary. Not thinking about why he'd woken up without his friends. He knocked on the door that suddenly loomed in front of him. It swung open.

"Do come in, Remus." Dumbledore was seated behind his desk. Sirius was sitting in front of him, slumped over. He didn't look up. This was unusual, a little part of Remus' brain noticed; Sirius always looked at him. Sirius stares at me, he thought idly. "Sit down. Sirius has something to tell you."

Remus sat obediently. He glanced at Sirius' bent head. Sirius said to his hands, clenched tightly together in his lap, "Last night I told Severus Snape how to get into the Shack." Pause. "He saw you when you were-"

Oh god. Oh god no. Remus' heart pounded. He whispered, "Did I-" He couldn't force the words out. "How bad is it?"

The dark head shot up. "No, he's-James pulled him out. You didn't- oh god, Remus, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Remus saw Sirius speaking, saw the full lips moving, but didn't hear him. He stumbled to his feet. "I'm-I should-"

"Remus." Dumbledore's best imitation of a kindly grandfather. "Severus won't say anything. He has been apprised of ... some of the circumstances. You have nothing to fear from him." Another thing he had to be grateful to Dumbledore for. He nodded. "May I go now?"

A sigh. "Yes. Sirius, you may go with him."

Sirius followed him out-like a dog, Remus thought abruptly. "Remus, I'm sorry."

He kept walking. Sirius trailed behind him. He turned, and the other boy stopped. "Sirius." He had no idea what to say, except- "Stop following me." He walked away without knowing where he was going. He didn't look back at Sirius.

It shouldn't have surprised him that he ended up in the Shack again. Dark stains on the floor and walls showed where he had bled the night before. There were fresh claw marks all over the door frame and boarded-up windows. He sat down in the corner, hugged his knees to his chest.

He didn't know how long he was there. It was long enough so that when James knocked tentatively at the scarred door frame, it took a moment before he could make his dry throat work. "Yes."

James came in. His eyes widened as he looked at the newly-inflicted damage. He took a deep breath. "It's time for dinner, Moony. You've been here all day."

Remus shrugged.

"Please, Remus." The other boy crouched beside him. "This isn't- don't do this. He's really sorry."

Remus dropped his face to his knees. "Yes." Sirius was always sorry after one of his impulsive acts went awry. He felt a tentative touch to his shoulder.

"If you don't come to dinner, I'm going to stay here," James threatened. "And I'm going to get hungry. And complain." Remus lifted his head, tried to smile. Judging from the look on James' face, he wasn't very successful. "Can't have that." He climbed to his feet stiffly.

They walked into the Great Hall together. As they approached the Gryffindor table, Sirius looked up. Their eyes met; Remus looked away deliberately. He sat down at the opposite end of the table, next to some surprised second-years. James hesitated. Remus jerked his head towards Sirius, and felt James walk away. The delicious smell of roast chicken wafted up from his plate. He felt the hot blue gaze on him all through dinner.

After dinner Remus went to the library. Since it was Saturday, it was empty except for a few Ravenclaws. He sat with his Arithmancy text in front of him. Eventually a familiar scent intruded. He kept his eyes on the book.

"Remus..." One of Sirius' beautiful hands reached across the table, touched the page Remus hadn't been reading. "I-" The clear voice broke off. "I don't know what to say."

Remus twitched the book away, leaving the hand lying empty on the table.

"Please," whispered Sirius. "I'm sorry."

Remus made himself look up. Sirius' other hand was gripping the edge of the table tightly. "I'm sorry too." A memory of those words teased at him; he couldn't place it. He paused. "I don't want to know why."

Surprise in the other boy's face.

Remus continued, "No excuses. No explanations. I don't want you to talk about it at all." He wanted to shove the episode to the back of his mind, where he kept all the other things he didn't want to think about.

Sirius nodded slowly. "Does this mean we-"

"No." He swallowed. He had never pushed Sirius away before. It was both harder and easier than he thought. "That's ... going to take a while." If it ever happened. If he could lock it all away successfully. But he saw something, an emotion, in Sirius' face that he hadn't expected to see, and his heart clenched. He had to concentrate very hard on not-smelling the other boy.

"All right." Whispering again. "Anything."

Remus stood up, collected his things, and left Sirius behind. His legs were shaking.


	4. Gifts Accepted

Remus looked up from his seventh-year Potions textbook. Sirius was still there. It had been three hours since the other boy had joined him in the library. Remus had expected an invitation to mischief of some kind, a kitchen raid, a journey through heretofore unexplored passageways; but Sirius had merely asked if he could sit with him, pulled out his DADA book, and begun reading. He hadn't once interrupted Remus, although Remus had felt the blue eyes resting on him more than once that evening. He'd looked up a few times, caught Sirius' gaze, and received an oddly shy smile.

Remus thought about this. It occurred to him that Sirius had been paying him even more attention than usual since they returned for seventh year. Insisting on partnering with him on Marauding expeditions, making him throw sticks for Padfoot, bringing him treats from his and Peter's kitchen raids. And now reading with him. Remus realized he was staring at Sirius' bent head; the long hair fell in a dark curtain around the handsome face. Then the face lifted, and it was his turn to be caught staring. Another one of the slow smiles spread across Sirius' face.

"Moony." A whisper. "I brought this for you." A long-fingered hand pushed a small package across the table.

Remus looked at it hesitantly. He didn't want to open it here if it was going to explode in his face, spit out a dancing, singing manikin, or produce some horrific smell. He sniffed tentatively. "It's all right. It's just-just open it."

He obeyed. A blank piece of paper unfolded. It was thick, creamy, with darker flecks speckling the slightly uneven surface. He touched it carefully; it was both smooth and rough to the touch. He glanced up at Sirius.

"It's handmade. Um, this goes with it." Sirius handed him a quill- not just a quill, Remus realized, but a painstakingly crafted, perfectly balanced quill made from some exotic feather; it was a striking emerald green touched with gold. "For your writing." Remus was puzzled. "These are-" beautiful, he wanted to say. "They're really nice, Sirius, but why?"

"Um..." Uncomfortable. "I don't know. I just saw them and thought you might like them."

"Oh. Okay." He stroked the paper again. "Thank you." He turned the quill over in his fingers. "I do like them. Very much." He smiled.

Sirius was visibly relieved. He grinned. "Hey, want to-" He cut himself off, returned to his book.

Remus considered him. Three hours was an incredibly long time for Sirius to sit in one place. "Were you about to suggest a kitchen raid? Because I'm really, really hungry."

Sirius sprang up from the table gratefully. Remus carefully wrapped up the paper and quill and nestled the package safely in his bag. As they made their way to the kitchens, their shoulders brushed. Remus leaned into the touch. A long arm wrapped around his shoulders, gave him a quick squeeze. He smiled.

Three weeks later Remus was lying on the floor of the common room, nibbling a sugar quill Sirius had brought him. They were alone. He laughed suddenly. "Listen to this, Sirius." He began reading aloud the anecdote that had amused him. He heard a noise beside him and looked over; Sirius had rolled on to his back and closed his eyes. A faint smile played over the full lips. Remus heard his own voice trailing away, drowned out by the thumping of his own heart. "Sirius?"

The blue eyes opened, looked at him. Remus only realized how close he was when Sirius reached up and gently pushed back the lock of Remus' hair that had fallen forward, almost touching Sirius' cheek. "Sirius..." He leaned down further, letting his hair fall over Sirius' face. The beautiful hand touched his hair again, twined into it. Remus could barely breathe. He followed the tug on his hair as he was drawn down to the inviting mouth, and kissed his friend. The clean, sweet smell of /Sirius/ raced through him; he stroked his tongue over the warm lips, and they parted under his insistent touch. He curled his hand around the long neck and tried to press himself into the kiss, against Sirius. Sirius made a little noise and Remus pulled away, disconcerted. But the other boy's lips were still parted, wet from the kiss, and his eyes were fixed on Remus' mouth. Remus shifted, lay down, and felt Sirius' arms wrap around him eagerly. He returned to that alluring mouth and kissed it deeply, stroking his tongue over Sirius'. Arousal shot through him. The Fat Lady's voice pulled him out of Sirius' embrace, away from the touch he had just begun to realize that he had wanted for longer than he knew. He sat up moments before a gang of third years burst in. He noticed that his hands were shaking as he picked up his abandoned book. After a second he felt a tentative touch on his ankle. He glanced over; Sirius was looking at him almost anxiously. Remus smiled cautiously, relaxing as an enormous grin spread over the handsome face. He couldn't resist; he sniffed, and was buoyed up on a swell of utter happiness. He smiled again and tried to concentrate on his book.


	5. Invitations

"Moony?"

"Mm?" They were lying on Sirius' bed. James and Peter were in the library, working on Peter's Transfiguration homework. Remus had closed the curtains and cast a silencing charm before he let Sirius take him into his arms. He rested his head on the strong shoulder.

"I want to go to the Yule Ball." Tentatively.

Remus stiffened. He forced himself to stay where he was. "All right," he said through frozen lips.

"Really?" Sirius sounded incredibly happy. His hand stroked Remus' hair. "You mean it?"

"Yes." He swallowed. "Who are you taking?" There was that Hufflepuff Sirius had dated the previous year, or the sixth-year Gryffindor who kept eyeing him...

Sirius' turn to tense up. "I want to take you, Remus."

"No." He was both relieved and angry.

A sigh. "Why not?"

He pulled back, looked Sirius in the eye. "Why?"

"I just-Moony, I-I love you." They had only said that to each other once before. "And I want people to know we're together." He touched Remus' cheek. "So will you? Please?"

"Oh, Siri." The nickname he'd started using recently. "It's not anybody's business. I don't want people talking about us. Gossiping." He caught Sirius' hand in his and kissed it gently. "I'll go to the Ball, but not as-not as your date."

"We can go stag, you mean." Humor in the blue eyes. "Compete with James."

"Oh, ha ha. That one was terrible." Remus relaxed against his boyfriend. "All right?"

That little sigh again. "All right." Then the warm mouth was on his, a slick tongue slipping past his lips, a hand stroking his hair, moving down his back, cupping his arse, pulling him closer. He felt Sirius' arousal pressing against him and moaned.

He pulled back suddenly. "No, James and Peter will be back soon."

A little frustrated sound. "They're not coming back until midnight. It's only nine o'clock." The strong arm tried to draw him back into the embrace.

"How do you know when they're coming back?" Remus asked suspiciously.

The blue eyes shifted. "Well, I-that is, James said that he'd keep- that Peter's essay would take that long."

"James knows?" He grabbed Sirius' wandering hand and held it firmly.

"Well, yes." The hand squeezed his. "Don't be angry. He knew before-um, he knew I liked you." A whisper. "Loved you." Louder. "So don't let that interrupt a perfectly good snog."

Sirius did have a point there. "Mm. It's hard to hide anything from James anyway." And that was twice tonight that Sirius had said he loved him. "I don't want Peter-" Something about Peter smelled off these days, he wasn't sure what or why.

"No, he's oblivious." Sirius drew him down again and kissed him. Then the warm mouth worked its way to his ear, nipping it lightly. Remus tipped his head back as Sirius kissed and licked his neck. The beautiful hands had been unbuttoning his robe, and now pushed it off his shoulders, caressing his chest. Sirius pulled away briefly and stripped off his own robe and shirt, returned to press his naked torso against Remus. Remus heard himself growl; he slid his hand to Sirius' waistband, unbuttoning his trousers and brushing his fingers over the other boy's erection. He pushed down Sirius' trousers and boxers hastily, still growling. Abruptly he pulled away and took a deep breath.

"Remus?" Sirius touched his shoulder.

"No, I just-" He searched for an excuse. "Needed to calm down a bit." He kissed the enticing mouth again. "We have three hours, you said. I don't want to rush."

"Mm." Sirius smiled, kissed him back. "I thought we could-um, do something different."

Remus tensed up again. "Different." He knew what Sirius meant. Recently they had moved beyond kisses and tentative touches to bringing each other to climax with hands and mouths, but that was as far as they had gone. As far as Remus had dared to go.

"Yes, different. More." Sirius stroked his back. "If you want." A kiss. "Only if you want."

Oh, he wanted. He wanted. But-"Siri, do you-I mean, I ... I need to- " He stopped and took a deep breath. "We need to talk. About, um, me being a werewolf."

Sirius touched his scar lightly. "Is this about the mating for life thing?" He kissed the scar. "Because I ... I want that." A warm yet anxious look. "Very much."

Remus' heart was pounding. He put his hand into the black hair and drew Sirius into a long kiss, stroking his tongue slowly over the other boy's. He pulled away reluctantly. "Um... Werewolves don't mate for life." Sirius flushed crimson. "But if we-I mean if I had to choose-" He gave up and kissed Sirius passionately again. "All right?"

"Oh, yes. Yes." Sirius appeared slightly dazed. Slowly the blue eyes refocused. "So, what is it then? About werewolves?"

Right. That. "Well, I-" He hesitated. "I'm-I don't want to hurt you." He went on before Sirius could say anything. "I think I might be-will be-too rough." He touched Sirius' cheek. "I know I've already hurt you."

"What? No, you haven't." Sirius was caressing his back again. "I love being with you."

"Yes, I have, Siri. I keep ... biting you. Bruising you." He touched Sirius' hip, marked with finger-sized bruises from their rendezvous in the broom shed three days ago. "Like this."

"Oh, Remus, that's nothing. It doesn't hurt. If it did, I'd just use a healing charm." Sirius ran his fingers through Remus' hair. "It's so-" He hesitated, and fear seized Remus. "It's such a turn-on," Sirius blurted out. "The way you growl and bite me. God!"

Remus blinked. "It is?"

"Yes." Fervently. Sirius rubbed his erection against Remus' belly. "You're not too rough. Why do you think that?"

He braced himself. "Well, I-I think I need to tell you about something. Um, it happened this summer." He put his arm around the other boy. "I met someone." He felt Sirius tense up, and stroked the soft hair soothingly. "It was-he was just-um, I was visiting those Muggle cousins I have in Liverpool." Sirius nodded under his hand.

Remus went on. "They took me to a party, and I met this boy. Hugh. And he was-" Tall, dark hair, blue eyes. "We arranged to meet the next day and I went to his house." The door swung open and the boy standing there smiled widely, touched Remus' shoulder, drew him inside, and kissed him. "He wanted to-and I-" Wanted to know. "So we went to his bedroom." Remus had cast a glamour over his scar earlier. "And we started to-he said he wanted me to-but then I..." Lost control. "Frightened him."

Sirius was very still, blue eyes focused on him. "What happened?"

"I was-I was growling, I think. And..." He swallowed. "Holding him down. He started-he was struggling. But I thought he-so I just held him harder. And then he started shouting." Screaming at Remus to stop, get off, get off now.

"So did you-" Sirius hadn't pulled away from him.

"No, we didn't ... get that far. I left." He'd leapt off the bed when he realized what he'd almost done, dressed hastily, and run out of the house, ignoring Hugh calling him back, apologizing.

"Oh, Moony. I'm sorry." A soft kiss. "That sounds awful." A pause. "Um... Were you smelling him?"

"What?"

"His emotions. You weren't, were you?" An intent look.

He was surprised. "How do you know about that?"

"So it's true. I found it in the same book as the thing about mating for life." Sirius smiled. "That's just brilliant."

Really, really surprised. "Well, it's true, but I don't do it." "Never?"

"Um... I try not to. It's-it's overwhelming." He thought of those first few days when the new sense had made itself known and he had been overpowered by foreign emotions. "And it feels like-it's not right. Invading people's privacy."

"Mm." Sirius was considering this. "You can smell me. Any time. Now." He grinned suddenly. "Do it, and tell me what I'm feeling."

He couldn't resist. He inhaled deeply. "Oh..." Another breath. "Oh, Siri."

"Well? What is it?" Sirius was still smiling.

Remus kissed him. "Happiness. Love." He couldn't quite keep the note of surprise out of his voice. He sniffed again. "Lust. Hope."

"Wow. That's so-that's amazing, Moony." Sirius kissed his neck. "So perhaps we can-we can shag, and you can smell me while we're doing it, and then you'll know that I want it."

Another Sirius plan. Remus pondered it, a task made more difficult by Sirius insistently pressing his erection against him. "So you don't mind that I'm-that I'm going to do it?"

"Oh, no." Sirius was unbuttoning Remus' trousers. "And I want you to growl. I love that." He hauled off Remus' clothes and slid down the bed, wrapping his hand around Remus' cock and kissing the tip. "Love it," he said again before plunging his mouth down. Remus gasped and arched up off the bed, trying to get more of that wet heat around him. Sirius teased him, sucking him slowly and sliding his hand up and down in time with his mouth. His other hand started playing with Remus' balls. Remus clutched the other boy's shoulders, trying desperately not to dig his fingers in. A hot tongue flickered over the underside of his prick and swirled around the tip with every slow stroke.

Remus panted, and caught /love/desire/happiness/ wafting up from Sirius. He relaxed minutely. The mouth and hands bringing him such incredible sensations sped up. The dark hair trailed along his thighs; he pushed it back and looked at Sirius' face, at his own cock thrusting in and out of the delightful mouth. Sirius opened his eyes and glanced up as Remus lightly touched his cheek; then the mouth sucked him strongly, and Remus fell over the edge into delirious pleasure, turning his head to the side and muffling his howl in the pillow.

He felt Sirius kiss his thigh, his stomach, his chest, bite his nipples. He drew the other boy to him and kissed him, tasting himself in the warm mouth. "Oh, Siri..."

Sirius grinned. "Like that?"

"Mm." He ran his hand down the muscular body. A question he hadn't thought to ask the first time Sirius had done that occurred to him. "Do I want to know how you learned to do that?" He put his hand on the firm arse, squeezing lightly, and pressed into Sirius' erection.

"Well, I-" A faint flush spread over the handsome face. "Would you believe I read a book?"

He couldn't help it. He laughed. "No, I wouldn't. Sirius Black, researching sex? I thought you were the hands-on type."

Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus, pulled him close. "I am, I am. Your hands..." A long kiss. Remus thrust his renewed arousal against Sirius' flat stomach. He heard himself growl quietly. Sirius moaned, then moved away. Remus closed his eyes.

A touch to his chest. He opened his eyes, met the dark blue gaze for a long moment before Sirius pressed something into his hand. He looked at it. A jar. Oh. Sirius kissed him, stroking his scar carefully. "Don't forget to smell me."

His boyfriend lay down on his stomach, head turned to the side so that their eyes still met. Then Sirius spread his legs deliberately. Remus growled again. He opened the jar hastily and scooped out a dollop of the lubricating salve. With his clean hand he stroked Sirius' arse, parted the muscular cheeks. He ran his greasy finger down the cleft and touched Sirius' entrance gently, circling it, trying desperately to resist the urge to take Sirius immediately, completely. As slowly as he could he pressed his finger inside, growling as he felt the tight heat contracting around his touch.

"Oh yes," Sirius whispered. Encouraged, Remus withdrew his finger and pushed it in again, then repeated the actions when he felt no resistance. "Remus..." Sirius reached back and held his wrist. He tried to pull his finger out, but Sirius gripped him tightly. "More." In a low voice.

Remus drew in a shaky breath. "Yes." Sirius released his hold. Remus got some more lubricant on his hand and slid in two fingers. His free hand was still stroking and squeezing the firm arse. Sirius was writhing beneath him, pushing insistently against the bedclothes as Remus carefully twisted his fingers inside the delicious warmth. He found the hard little nub and stroked over it delicately; Sirius moaned. Another touch, another moan. Remus was growling very loudly now, and his cock was painfully hard.

"Siri, I-" He pulled his fingers out, biting his lip. "I can't-"

Sirius lifted his head, looked around. "Do it." His dark hair was tangled around his flushed face. "Please," he whispered. He drew his legs up under himself, pushing his arse higher.

When Remus looked at Sirius waiting for him, he couldn't stop himself. He positioned himself behind the other boy, stroked his own erection with his slick hand and pressed the head of his prick against the relaxed hole. He leaned over the long back and inhaled deeply: /want/desire/love/trust/ came strongly to him. Reassured, he pushed in further, reaching up and touching Sirius' cheek. He withdrew partly and eased back in. Being inside Sirius, joined with him, was astounding. He kept breathing in the other boy's emotions and feeling them meld with his own as he pulled out and pressed back in. At last Remus was completely inside. Before he thought about what he was doing, he brushed aside the black hair and bit the nape of Sirius' neck hard as he withdrew and shoved back in. Sirius moaned, pushed back against him.

Remus growled again. He held Sirius' narrow hips and thrust in and out of him, biting his neck over and over. The little noises the other boy was making aroused him even more, and he murmured against the warm, smooth skin, "Mine, mine, mine." Sirius shifted under him, and Remus realized that Sirius was stroking his own erection. He placed his own hand over Sirius' and adjusted their rhythm so that they were pumping Sirius' cock in time with Remus' thrusts. Sirius moaned and moved his hand faster.

Remus was overwhelmed by sensation: thrusting into the tight, hot arse; touching the pulsing cock; smelling the crisp scent of fallen leaves that he always associated with Sirius; tasting the faint tang of sweat as he bit the enticing neck; and feeling his own emotions merge with the other boy's until he was swept away on a wave of longing and desire. Growling, he shoved into Sirius over and over; finally, when he could no longer bear it, he slammed in one last time and came explosively. As he did so, he felt Sirius clench around him and hot come covered his hand. They slumped to the bed, Remus still buried inside the other boy.

He tried to catch his breath, realized he was still biting the nape of Sirius' neck. He opened his jaws and apologetically kissed the place he had bitten. Sirius moved underneath him. Holding onto Sirius' strong arm, Remus rolled them to their sides carefully. He wrapped his arm around the muscular chest. They were both still breathing hard. Sirius lifted Remus' hand to his mouth and kissed it. "All right?"

"Mm. Yes. You?" He licked the bite mark.

"Oh yes." Huskily. "Remus, that was amazing." Sirius wriggled in his arms. "Can you-I want to see your face."

Reluctantly he pulled out, turned Sirius in his embrace. He grabbed a corner of the sheet and wiped them both off. "Better?"

Sirius gave him a deep kiss. "Yes. Um, did you-was that the way you- was that okay?"

"Yes." Emphatically. "But I-I bit you rather hard." Remus touched the bite mark. "I didn't mean to do that."

Another kiss. "It didn't hurt. None of it hurt." Long fingers trailed down his back, caressed his flank. "Didn't you smell me?"

He smiled. "Yes."

The blue eyes were glowing. "Good." The wandering fingers slipped to his thigh, brushed against his hard cock. "Sweet Merlin!"

"What's wrong?" He tried to pull away, but Sirius held onto him.

"Nothing's wrong, it's just-wow." Sirius laughed suddenly. "You know, you're ... um..." The fingers squeezed his erection. "Don't you even need a break?"

He felt himself flushing. "Sorry." Sirius would think he was even more of a freak than he was.

"God, don't apologize." The hand was still on him and he pushed into it without thinking. "I mean, I know we're seventeen, but this is just-incredible. Hey, it could be another brilliant werewolf thing." Sirius was still grinning.

Remus thought about this. "Like the healing?" His injuries, even if left unattended, usually repaired themselves at an accelerated rate. He rarely scarred. Aside from the scar itself, a massive, ropy band of silver-white tissue marring his shoulder.

"Oh yeah. That's probably it. Same mechanism." Sirius was stroking his prick steadily now. "That would make sense, because it's the- mmmfff!" Remus had kissed him.

"Enough talking." Another kiss. He kissed his way to Sirius' ear, licked and nipped it lightly, and worked down the long neck, over the firm chest. He sucked the tight nipples and licked slowly down to Sirius' half-hard prick. Stroking the soft skin of the inner thighs, he drew Sirius into his mouth. A gasp; the cock hardened in his mouth. He twitched his tongue over it; the taste of Sirius' previous orgasm was still present, arousing Remus even more. He sucked strongly and felt hands in his hair. One of his own hands moved from the thigh it had been caressing to the delectable arse, sliding into the cleft again. He glanced up; Sirius was staring down at him, lips parted. His searching finger found the opening, entered it cautiously. The cock in his mouth grew even harder. Suddenly the hands in his hair were urging him up. Stopping him. Oh no, Sirius did think he was a freak.

"Remus. Can we ... again?"

Relief and arousal flooded through him in equal parts. "You-you really want to?"

"Yes!" Sirius lay on his back, pulling Remus on top of him and running his strong hands over Remus' back and arse. "Yes," he repeated. They kissed. Remus loved the taste of Sirius' mouth, the feel of the soft warm lips moving against his. Then Sirius was pushing at him gently. He moved back, and a slick hand stroked his cock. Oh, the lubricant. He looked down at Sirius, the long pale body stretched over the paler sheets, glowing in the faint light coming through the red curtains. Sirius grabbed a couple of pillows, put them under his bottom, and held his own thighs, pulling his legs up and apart. He was completely exposed to Remus' gaze.

Remus drank in the enticing vision. He inched forward, put his hands under Sirius' arse, and lifted him a fraction more, resting the head of his cock against the opening, still wet with come. With **his** come. He touched the tight balls, stroked up over the straining erection, and took it in his hand. Sirius was holding very still under him, blue eyes staring at him. Then the clear voice whispered, "I'm yours."

He growled and shoved forward, embedding himself in one stroke. Sirius gasped. Shocked, Remus tried to pull out and away, but the strong arms wrapped around him. "No, it's-it's good," Sirius said, leaning up and kissing him. Remus relaxed into the kiss, thrust forward slightly, and pulled out slowly. He waited there, just the head of his cock inside the incredible heat, and fisted Sirius' erection deliberately. When Sirius began writhing underneath him, he pushed in again, angling up a fraction. The half-shut blue eyes shot open. "God, that's-do that again." Remus complied, making Sirius moan with pleasure.

Remus was intoxicated with desire, with the smell and taste and sight of Sirius all around him, with the emotions coming up off Sirius' warm skin. He moved more quickly, thrusting in and out-fucking Sirius, he thought suddenly, and growled again. Enclosed in Sirius' body, the two of them shut in the dark red space... he was beginning to forget that there was a world outside this bed. Outside Sirius. He leaned down for another long kiss, stroking his tongue over the full lips and forcing his cock in even deeper. Sirius tangled a hand in Remus' hair and made a little desperate noise. Remus pumped Sirius' prick faster, moving in and out steadily. Suddenly the tight arse contracted around him forcefully and the prick in his hand spasmed as Sirius came with a gasp. Remus managed a few more thrusts before he felt electric heat running down his spine and into his balls, exploding out of his cock and sending unbelievable pleasure shooting through him. He lowered himself onto Sirius and buried his face in the other boy's neck, inhaling /love/satisfaction/ gratefully.

After a minute he rolled off. Sirius turned with him so that they were still embracing.

"Moony?"

"Mm?" He kissed Sirius slowly.

"Still all right?"

He smiled. "Oh, yes." Another kiss. "You?" He stroked the sweaty back.

"God, yes." Sirius pulled the covers up over them.

"Was it-how different was it?" He had to know.

"Different?" Sirius touched his cheek, rested his thumb in the dimple on Remus' chin.

"From-other people." Sirius was giving him an uncomprehending look. He sighed. "Other people you've been with. Like this."

Light dawned. "Oh. You mean besides the fact that you can ... er, go three times without stopping?" Pause. Sirius seemed nervous. "Um... I wouldn't know."

A moment while Remus absorbed this information. "Oh. I thought-not at all?"

It was hard to tell in the rosy glow from the curtains, but Sirius appeared to be blushing. "Well, I-I snogged a couple of boys, but..." He kissed Remus suddenly.

Remus was very pleased. "So you actually did read a book?" Sirius nodded reluctantly. Make that extremely pleased. But: "What about Laura?" The Hufflepuff from the previous year. Sirius tensed up. Remus petted the black hair. "It's all right. I understand."

"No, I-" Sirius scooted down, put his head on Remus' shoulder. "I'll tell you." A deep breath. "I was-I was lonely."

A pang shot through Remus. He hadn't noticed. He hadn't really talked to Sirius for months after the incident with Snape. "Oh, Siri. Why?" As soon as he asked, he knew the answer. "Oh..."

Suddenly Sirius gripped him tightly, buried his face against Remus. His muffled voice said, "You weren't talking to me and I just-I messed up so badly and I-and even James didn't really know-and Laura always liked me and I thought I could-but it didn't work." A deep, shaky breath. "I mean we-but it didn't help."

Remus didn't know what to say. He stroked the soft dark hair again. "Sirius, I-"

"No, it's-I mean, you were right to be angry with me." Sirius was still burrowing into Remus' embrace.

It was all getting dragged out of him, out of the little place in his brain where he had pushed it aside. "It's not that. I just-I couldn't." He sighed in frustration. "I couldn't stop thinking." About being a werewolf, about Snape seeing him, about being rescued once more by Dumbledore, about Sirius. About Sirius throwing him away in a thoughtless moment. "Oh, god. Stop it." Too late he realized he'd said it aloud.

Sirius jerked away from him. "I'm sorry."

"No, Siri, it's not you." Not that, anyway. He pulled Sirius into his arms again. He took a deep breath, cleared his mind. "Let's just ... forget it."

The blue eyes looked at him intently. A pause. "All right." In the tone that meant that it wasn't all right, but that Sirius wasn't going to argue.

Another pause. Remus reached across Sirius and retrieved his watch. "Oh." It was 11:30. He thought for a moment. "Can I-I'd like to stay here for a while."

A swift, warm smile. "Yes, of course. Although-" Sirius shifted slightly. "Your bed is clean."

"Don't you bother to learn any of the useful stuff in Charms?" Remus picked up his wand and cast a cleaning charm over the sheets. While he was at it, he reinforced the silencing charm and magically closed the curtains on his own bed. He could creep back in the early morning before the other boys were awake.

Sirius yawned abruptly, kissed him. Very quietly he said, "Thank you. For staying."

Remus understood what Sirius wanted to say. He tightened his hold on the other boy. "I love you." In a whisper. For a second he thought Sirius hadn't heard. Then there was a little hitch in Sirius' even breathing.

"Love you too."

They drifted off to sleep.


	6. Resolutions

"Right, Sirius, explain this one to me again." Lily put her namesake flower, conjured up for her by James, into her hair and checked the effect in the common room mirror. "Why couldn't you get a date?"

"Oh, Lily, Lily, Lily." Sirius heaved a huge mock sigh. "I could have found a date. But considering that this is my last year to grace the Yule Ball, I didn't think it would be fair to limit myself to just one person. This way, I can dance with everyone, and no one will feel left out or neglected." He edged Lily out of the way and inspected his dark red robes.

"Except Malfoy, I hope," James contributed. He was still trying to flatten his hair down.

"Oh, I don't know. The Christmas spirit may overcome me and force me to dance with the occasional Slytherin."

"What about you, Remus?" Lily leaned over the couch where Remus was reading. Trying to read. He was nervous. "Why aren't you going with a date?"

He set his book aside. "Well, Lily, as you know, my friends are very important to me. I didn't want Sirius to feel embarrassed because he was the only one of us who couldn't get a date. So I fended off my many admirers, sacrificing a great deal of potential ... happiness ... in order to spare Sirius the agonizing public shame of being the only dateless person at the Ball." He smiled. Sirius glared at him. Remus kept smiling innocently.

Lily gave him a long, assessing look. "Right," she said slowly. "James, give it up. Your hair is never going to be flat. Let's go."

"It might be flat... some day..." James stared longingly into the mirror.

"Fine. Some day it will be flat. But I'd like to go to **this** Yule Ball. And besides-" She leaned into James and whispered into his ear.

Remus caught: "I think it's sexy." He hid his grin in his book. Sirius caught his eye and mouthed, "What?" "Later," he mouthed back.

James blushed. "Right then. Let's go. Sirius? Remus?" Peter had already left to collect his date, a fifth-year Hufflepuff.

"You all go on," Remus said. "I want to finish this chapter." He didn't want to walk in with Sirius, like his date. Even though he was his date. Sort of.

"Moony, it's the Yule Ball. The book will still be there tomorrow." James grabbed his arm and pulled him up off the sofa. "And, you know, I think we should all go in together. Peter's meeting us at the door."

Remus glanced at Sirius quickly. "Um... All right." The blue eyes warmed. Remus brushed off his robes. "I'm ready."

Remus managed to be standing next to Peter when they walked in, not Sirius. He slipped away and headed to the refreshments, letting Sirius search for a dance partner. It was more difficult than he had thought it would be to watch Sirius holding someone else in his arms, so he drank his punch quickly, spotted a lonely-looking girl, and invited her to dance.

After the first half-hour of music to please the teachers, the Ravenclaw acting as DJ put on what Sirius, standing next to Remus at the punch bowl, proclaimed "real music." He handed Remus another glass of punch. "We could dance to this, Moony."

Remus sipped his punch. Sirius had cast an Intoxication Charm on his glass. "I know you're not trying to get me drunk, Sirius." Remus could drink any of his friends under the table, as they had discovered on one of their secret trips to Hogsmeade. They'd found a hidden passage to the cellar of the Hog's Head. Remus had had to make three trips back to Hogwarts, toting one of his friends each time.

"No... Perhaps just relax you a bit." Sirius grinned. "We could dance, you know."

"I'm sensing a theme here." He drank the rest of his punch. "We could get James and Peter to dance with us too. If Lily and Phoebe wouldn't mind."

Sirius grabbed his arm and dragged him closer to the dance floor. "Moony, look at that." He pointed at the frenetically gyrating mass of bodies. "Do you see couples? No! It's just a lot of people leaping about. And I want to do that. So I'm going to get out there and jump up and down. Join me if you like." He strode out onto the floor and, true to his word, started twisting about wildly.

Remus gave up. He found a space on the dance floor near Sirius and began dancing. After a few minutes he smelled James and Lily and looked around; they were standing at the edge of the floor grinning at him. Or at Sirius, he wasn't sure. He beckoned to James, who spoke briefly with Lily and then joined him. Lily gave Remus a little smile and turned away. The three of them danced-or, in Sirius' case, performed something akin to dancing if one's definition of the activity were extremely loose-until a slow song came on.

"Wow, Remus, I've never seen anyone leave a dance floor so quickly," James remarked.

Remus looked at him.

"Er, right. I wonder where Lily is?" James backed away hastily.

Remus fetched two glasses of punch, handed one to Sirius. "That so- called dancing of yours is thirsty work, Black." He drained his glass. "I need some fresh air."

"You know, Moony-" Sirius leaned a little closer and whispered, "That's usually code for snogging."

"In your world, perhaps. But I really do need some fresh air." He was wearing more layers than usual, and the Great Hall was stuffy. He began to walk away, looked over his shoulder at Sirius. "Join me if you like." A deliberate echo.

In two strides Sirius was at his side. They made their way out into the gardens and walked past some suspiciously active rosebushes.

"Better?" Sirius was looking at him intently.

"Yes." The cool air felt delicious against his warm face. He took a deep breath.

"Um... Moony?" A hint of nervousness. "What do you think you'll do after we leave school?"

Remus shrugged. "Move to London, I suppose. Work for a private company. Extermination, perhaps." The Ministry didn't hire werewolves.

"I'm going to train as an Auror, you know." Sirius licked his lips. "So I'll be in London too. I was thinking-thinking we could share a flat."

He turned and looked at Sirius. "Share a flat?" His heart was pounding.

Sirius shifted slightly. "Well, it's just that-" He took a step closer, lowered his voice, although there was no one in sight. "I want to live with you, Remus. Really live with you." Another step; the clear voice dropped again, whispering now. "I want to sleep with you every night. I want to wake up next to you every morning. I just-I want you."

Remus' heart was thundering now. "Yes," he managed to say.

"You-yes?" Sirius looked amazed.

"Yes." Remus smiled. He pulled Sirius down the winding path until they came to a small stand of firs. They stepped behind the trees and Remus wrapped his arms around the other boy, lifting his face. Sirius' lips, cool as the winter night, pressed against his. Remus opened his mouth and sucked in the surprisingly hot tongue, tangling his own around it. After a minute they broke apart.

Sirius was grinning. "See, I knew it was code for snogging."

He laughed. "I hate to feed your ego any more, Siri, but I didn't actually plan to snog you. That only happened because you're irresistible." He stroked the black hair.

"I am?" Sirius seemed pleased.

"Mm." He kissed Sirius again. "Don't get too carried away. I'm sure it only works on me."

Sirius said quietly, "You're the only one who matters, Remus." They kissed slowly.

"Pssst! Pssst!" The insistent hissing broke into Remus' awareness. He pulled away from Sirius hastily, sniffed. It was James, with Lily. "Pssst!"

"What?!" Sirius was aggravated. "Who the hell-Jamie? Sod off. Find your own tree." He tried to pull Remus back into his arms, but Remus moved farther away.

James cautiously put his head around one of the trees. "Sorry." He actually did sound a bit abashed. He glanced from Sirius to Remus quickly. "Just thought I'd warn you. McGonagall's coming through. Taking points from people she finds-er..." He trailed off as Remus stared at him. "Anyway, just come back with us. Four friends out for a little stroll, right?"

Remus decided that he should really be nicer to James about all this. He nodded and stepped out onto the path. Lily gave him a tentative smile. He forced himself to smile back. He should be nicer to her, too. He could hear James and Sirius whispering in the trees, so quietly that only his enhanced hearing allowed him to make out what they were saying.

"So? Did you ask him?" That was James.

"Yes." Sirius sounded happy. "He said yes." Happiness mixed with disbelief. "He said yes," Sirius repeated.

Remus noticed Lily looking at him. She gave him another shy smile and said quietly, "Your hair's-um. It's a bit mussed." He smoothed it down rapidly. She nodded approvingly. Yes, time to be nicer to Lily.

The other boys came out onto the path. James wrapped his arm around Lily and dropped a kiss on her cheek. "Right then. Let's head back. Perhaps Sirius will grace us with some more, um, dancing."

"Are you casting aspersions on my dancing prowess, Prongs?" Sirius touched Remus' arm, held him back so that James and Lily were walking ahead of them, and took his hand.

James laughed. "Oh no. I don't need to. Your ... dancing speaks for itself."

They were nearing the castle. Remus dropped Sirius' hand. Sirius rolled his eyes. They rounded a bend in the path and saw McGonagall berating an unhappy, disheveled couple. They hurried past, back into the heat and noise of the Great Hall. Remus sat at a convenient table. After a few minutes Sirius dropped into a chair next to him with two plates heaped high with food.

"Oh, I thought you went off to caper about on the dance floor some more." Remus bit into his ham sandwich.

Sirius mumbled something around his mouthful of éclair. He swallowed and repeated, "It's not as much fun without you."

Remus smiled. Very, very quietly he whispered, "We could meet in the Shack later. Caper in private."

Sirius grinned widely. "Another brilliant idea, Mr. Lupin." From some hidden pocket he produced a slightly squashed piece of cake. "I brought you this."

It was chocolate, his favorite. Remus accepted it gravely. He was suddenly very glad he had come to the Ball. Under cover of the table, he let his hand touch Sirius' knee briefly, and was rewarded with another grin. The blue eyes were glowing. At him. Remus allowed himself to fall into that indigo warmth, into the intoxicating scent of Sirius' happiness. He wanted to hold on to this one crystal-clear moment of complete happiness. Looking at Sirius, he even dared to think it might be possible to do so.

\--end--


End file.
